I really don’t understand why Kenyan men think Kenyan women are so complicated. Yes, we can absolutely say one thing and mean another, but if you have been in any kind of relationship with a woman, you know this.
I am not sure whether you guys choose to be idiots, or you really are that oblivious to the female species. Just in case it is the latter, here are 40 things we want men to know about us:
1. Not every woman in the world is Suzy Homemaker. Some of us can’t cook, but most of us are willing to learn when we need to care for someone else.
2. There is a difference between “messy” and “dirty.”
3. Not all women expect a relationship to blossom from a fling. Some even prefer it doesn’t.
4. How much effort does it take for you to look good? Women have to deal with hair, make-up, nails and body hair maintenance. So, do not complain when we take a long time to get ready. You like the natural look? We will give you the “natural” look and see how well that works out.
5. We don’t expect you to spend your life savings on dates. It’s the thought that counts.
6. We do not “get off” from tampons.
7. We appreciate other women’s beauty.
8. We all lose it every so often. Don’t be shocked when this happens.
9. Nice guys don’t always finish last.
10. Women want sex just as much as men, sometimes even more.
11. We are completely aware of what your codes “come cuddle” or “come over and watch a movie” mean. Most women also use those same codes.
12. We go to the bathroom in pairs or groups for multiple reasons. The top two are to talk about you and to borrow make-up.
13. We will talk about our relationships in detail to our best friends, so get over it.
14. Most women are willing to pay, just don’t expect us to.
15. We talk about as much gross stuff with our friends as guys do.
16. Sex should last a maximum of 45 minutes and a minimum of 15.
17. If you have a password or lock on your phone, you’re hiding something, and we will find out.
18. Your “package” by itself, does nothing for us.
19. You can’t get away with jeans and a polo everywhere you go. So if you ask us to go somewhere, give us the proper dress code.
20. Most women hate talking on the phone as much as you do.
21. We like when other women try to flirt with our men. Yeah we may seem pissed, but inside we are actually smiling that we have what someone else wanted. That is, as long as you men don’t cross the line.
22. Gym clothes like basketball shorts, t-shirts and baseball caps are the sexiest things a guy can wear.
23. We need our space, too.
24. It’s the biggest turn-on when you fix things around the house for us.
25. If something is bothering you about your girlfriend — no matter how small — just tell her. We would much rather know you loathe our perfume rather than breakup with us suddenly because of that.
26. Don’t assume she likes to “69.”
27. We spend a ton of money on our hair. Even though you may think it looks the same, you get what you pay for. Go ahead send your lady to get a $30 cut and color and see what happens.
28. No matter what you say or do, if she is not attracted to you, you’re out.
29. Women can have male friends without ever being sexually attracted to them. Men have to get over the “I wanna sleep with you” threshold before they can be just friends with a female.
30. All women are different. We are not your ex, your mother or your sister. So, if you have had a bad experience with a woman in the past, take a minute and get to know us.
31. If your lady tells you something is bothering her about you or your relationship, don’t just brush it off. Just try to listen. Show her you’ve heard her and are attempting to fix whatever it is. Even if it never gets fully fixed, she will leave it alone 90 percent of the time if she see you’re making effort.
32. We hate repeating things just as much as you hate hearing us repeating things. Listen and acknowledge something first time, so we won’t have to say it over and over again.
33. We sometimes creepily watch you sleep.
34. The more we yell at you, the more we care.
35. Don’t throw away any of our beauty products, even if you think something is empty. We use that crap until the last drop.
36. No matter who you are dating at the time, she is the hottest woman you have ever dated. End of story.
37. We aren’t stupid. If you delete your texts, have emojis next to a chick’s name or always have your phone on silent, we know you are hiding something.
38. Don’t let us find things out, just tell us. We may not be OK with whatever it is, but it will be exponentially worse if we find out you purposely didn’t tell us something.
39. We really don’t like making decisions when it comes to a date. It may be a catch-22, but you should know this. So, don’t ask.
40. 40. Women poop, too.